Love
by Edgar-A.-Poe
Summary: Story 2 of 100 in my own 100 Story Challenge. Severus reflects on his love for Lily.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, I don't make money off of them. That honor belongs to the wonderful, amazing woman named J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** This is story 2 of my 100 story challenge. The song used in the beginning is by John Lennon, and is called, simply enough, _Love_. Enjoy.

**Love**

_Love is real, real is love.  
Love is feeling, feeling love.  
Love is wanting to be loved._

_Love is touch, touch is love.  
Love is reaching, reaching love.  
Love is asking to be loved._

_Love is you.  
You and me.  
Love is knowing  
we can be._

_Love is free, free is love.  
Love is living, living love.  
Love is needing to be loved._

He knew that he would never be able to let her go. That is why he had fought so hard to win her back after he had lost her in such a stupid, childish manner.

The last look she had ever given Severus had been one of complete hurt. Her green eyes had been painful, wet with the beginnings of tears she would never shed—at least, not for him. He deserved none of her tears, not with the way he had treated her.

Lily had been like some sort of goddess that just appeared into his life one day. Even though they were just nine, he could tell that she was beautiful, and he vowed that she would someday be his. He had befriended her before their Hogwarts days, told her the wonders of magic, had shown her that she was not a freak. He had been the one to renew in her that self-worth that had been slowly eaten away at by that hag of a sister she had. He had convinced her to tell her parents of her skills, and it had come to good things.

At Hogwarts, he had pined after Lily Evans as a drowning man pines after the land. It was a desperate sort of tugging sensation he felt every time he was around her, even if they were doing the most meaningless, mundane of tasks. Study sessions with her were even made exciting. She had befriended others, of course, but she always came back to him. He always thought of himself as her one true stable friend, and no one could take her from him. She was his Lily, and though he did not have her as he wished to, at least his childhood promise to himself was not completely broken.

Then there was James Potter. Severus scowled whenever the boy was mentioned. Potter was a Gryffindor in he and Lily's year, and he threw himself at her every chance he got. This disgusted Severus. His only hope was that Lily always thought of him as a nuisance and a prick—a bullying sort, hanging around people like Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and that good-for-nothing Peter Pettigrew, who should have been a squib for all the magical talent he possessed. Potter and Black were Severus' main torturers, and he loathed them for everything that they stood for.

He remembered that he had tried to kiss Lily once, late in their fourth year. They were the only two in the library that late at night—Madam Pince knew by then to pay them no mind. The test was the next day, Transfiguration with McGonagall. They had been studying late everyday that week so far, and Severus had been trying to build up the courage to do something—anything—to let Lily know how he felt.

She yawned and stretched at one point, and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. The way her body contoured against her robes, how her hand went to the side of her perfect, slender neck, how her jaw opened to accommodate the force of the yawn… He ended up staring at her, mouth slightly open, for a moment longer than he should have.

Lily smiled at him. "What's the matter, Sev?" she asked, her voice as sweet as a lemon drop.

Severus had leaned in, fully intending on kissing her then and there, on the lips. His eyes narrowed in on them as he drew nearer. But he stopped when he was about six inches from her mouth. Delicately, he raised a hand and plucked an imaginary something from her cheek, flicking it away with his fingers.

"Oh! Thanks, Sev," Lily said, looking surprised. "Who knows what that was, huh?" She laughed quietly, something that made Severus weak in the knees.

He never had quite gotten up the nerve to try and kiss her again. And then he had hurt her beyond all reconciliation. Then she and Potter got together during the end of their sixth year… Then came graduation, and still nothing, not even a passing glance at her once best friend. Then came her wedding to the twit—Severus saw it in_The Daily Prophet_. He had torn out the photograph, ripped off Potter's half and hexed it to tiny bits, then burned them. Then came their final announcement in the _Prophet_: the arrival of their son, Harry James Potter. That had nearly broken Severus.

Never having so much as looked at another woman the same way he had looked at Lily, he could not let go of her. He didn't want to. She was still so much a part of him and his everyday life. That was why he had gone to Dumbledore when he heard the Dark Lord was planning to destroy Lily and her family.

"You do not care for the well-being of her husband or child?" Dumbledore had asked him.

Severus did not know how to answer at first. "I want to save Lily," he whispered, his lips barely able to move.

"You would have them die just to save her?"

Severus nodded.

Dumbledore had not been able to look at him for a long while after that admittance. But he had kept Lily safe… for a while. Her death had been tearing him up inside each and every second of every single agonizing day for the past sixteen years.

Now, all he could see was her son, Harry Potter. This was all that she had left of herself on this earth.

"Look at me," Severus said harshly to the boy, the blood pouring from his throat. He could feel his last moments slipping away as his breath grew more and more labored. "Look at me."

Potter turned to him then, his green eyes flashing with a range of emotion. Within them, Severus saw Lily's smiling face. She waved to him, laughing, happy to see her old friend. Her arms spread out to envelope him in her usual greeting of a giant hug.

Severus felt a content sensation spread over his entire body as the last drops of his blood dripped from his neck. He would have smiled into her green eyes, but there was no more strength.

He hoped that he would be in Lily's arms, safe in the embrace of his love forever.


End file.
